LESSONS I HAVE LEARNED FROM MY DAD

These last 10 days have been harrowing ones. I was in Hong kong for a show, when my dad fell ill. Racing to Bombay to be with him whilst he was in the hospital and trying to be as much of a backup for my mum, as was possible, has been hard. In the helter-skelter run to India via Singapore from Hong Kong, I completely forgot about Father’s Day. Which is tomorrow!

Over the last week whilst sitting at his bedside, I have spent a lot of time thinking about my dad, his life, and his work ethic. With phone calls flooding in, from family, friends, neighbours and people he used to work with before he retired, 4 years ago, I see my dad not just as my dad, but also as a man, as someone other people know. 

Somehow no matter how old you are, when you are with your parents and your immediate family, you tend to fall into familiar routines and patterns. Mine has always been that of the peacemaker; the daughter my dad listens to, the family negotiator. In these patterns, what one doesn't realise that there is another whole play of patterns and behaviours that you might be oblivious to, which affect the outcome of every conversation and interaction.

Completely eschewing the time honoured card, and wishes, this year I decided to write down a list of lessons I have learned from my dad. I use these in my life every single day, and since I founded Lustre, even more so.

My dad came from a modest background. He lost his father when he was 14, and started working the day after his 10th grade. There were no fancy schools, no college educations, no counsellors suggesting a course of action.  There was instead the urgency to contribute and help out as much as he could, his own mother. He worked hard, he is thrifty, and even today finds it hard to be extravagant or wasteful with money or resources. He recycled long before it became fashionable; he has learned to fix just about anything including car engines, leaky faucets, and has built furniture from scratch. All because he had to. Not because it was cool, or because it was a hobby.

This is a short list of things I have learned from my dad.

At the firm that my dad worked for, his relationships with his clients went back years. We grew up learning those names, and over the years, meeting those people. They sent my dad gifts at Diwali, and mangoes in the summers, to thank him for the business he created for them. 

HELP THOSE IN NEED
Seriously - this never needs explaining. Over the years, I have met so many people who have been helped by my dad. Whether it was hungry juniors whose potential he saw or people who worked for him that needed money or assistance, or sick relatives that he helped out visited with food, and took care of medically, my dad has done it all. I try to remember this when someone calls me and says that they are just starting a venture and would I meet with them to chat about “stuff”. Or a friend who needs help. Sometimes I am on top of it, and sometimes I fail. But the awareness is always there, followed by the guilt when I do fail.